There’s a small card that has sat in my bathroom for over two years now. Right next to the loo, to be precise. It says ‘You Have to Have Passion’ and I found it on the floor one day, assumed it was my husband’s and propped it up thinking he’d deal with it. He didn’t. And when I eventually asked him about it, he had no idea where it had come from either.
It’s a restaurant card from San Carlo in London. Black and white. A photo of a man called Carlo Distefano sitting in what looks like a bustling restaurant. And written across it in bold letters: “You have to have passion.”
I can’t tell you why it appeared or how it got there. What I can tell you is that it’s been one of the first things I see in the morning and one of the last things I see at night for years. And it hasn’t been there by accident — at least not in the way that matters.
(More on the mysterious appearance of that card, and what I believe about signs and synchronicities, in a separate post — I’ll link to it here when it’s live, because it deserves its own conversation.)
A message I didn’t know I needed
When that card appeared, I was running a manufacturing business. And if I’m honest with myself — truly honest — I didn’t have passion for it. I was good at it, I worked hard at it, but it didn’t light me up. It didn’t make me leap out of bed. It was a job I’d created for myself, not a calling.
And every time I sat down on that loo (which, as we all know, is fairly frequently), there was Carlo staring back at me, quietly insisting: you have to have passion.
Over time, something in me started to listen. Not overnight — this wasn’t a dramatic road-to-Damascus moment. It was slow and quiet. But a seed was being planted, or perhaps watered, every single day.
Love Life More — this blog, this project, this thing I am genuinely passionate about — was forming in my mind during those same years that card was sitting on my bathroom shelf. I bought the domain on the way home from a holiday in August 2023. Then life got in the way, as it tends to. But I never let go of the idea. And in October 2024, I announced to my hubby one night that I wanted to be out of the manufacturing business by Christmas. Probably just after my last wee and seeing this card now I think about it! That was a big leap. But it was built on years of small steps, small nudges, and one persistent little card.
Why passion actually matters — and it’s not just a nice idea
Here’s where I want to go a bit deeper, because this isn’t just about following your dreams in some vague, motivational-poster sort of way. There’s real, substantive evidence that passion has a measurable impact on your health and wellbeing.
Researchers developed what they call the Dualistic Model of Passion — essentially the science of what happens when we pursue things we genuinely love. Their work found that harmonious passion — the kind that comes from genuinely choosing to engage with something you love — contributes to sustained psychological wellbeing, while also reducing negative emotions and psychological conflict. In other words, doing what you care about isn’t a luxury. It’s protective.
Research also links having a sense of purpose to better physical health outcomes, lower stress levels, and stronger social connections. And a long-running study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found something striking: those who reported a strong sense of meaning and purpose actually lived longer than those who didn’t.
Living longer. From following your passion. I mean, that’s worth sitting with for a moment.
Passion is also linked to keeping your brain sharp — people who maintain lifelong intellectual engagement tend to develop memory loss later as they age. Having something to get excited about sets natural neurochemicals moving through your body that reduce stress and make you feel genuinely better.
So when Carlo says you have to have passion, he’s not being dramatic. He’s essentially describing a health strategy. Also let’s face it, we’re working longer these days. We may as well enjoy it even without the benefits above!
It’s perfectly normal not to know what your passion is yet
This is the bit that trips people up, and I want to be straight with you – not everyone knows immediately. I didn’t suddenly wake up one morning with a fully formed vision. It crept up on me.
And here’s something I think we don’t talk about enough. So many of us have been so busy doing that we’ve forgotten how to just be. Life fills up fast. Work, children, responsibilities, other people’s needs. Before you know it, years have passed and you’ve lost track of who you actually are underneath all of it.
I’ve been a mum for fifteen years now. With each child, and as the years have passed, I genuinely became less “Tanya” and more “just mum.” I was only twenty-four when I had my first child. I’ve changed beyond recognition since then — we all do — but when you’re in the thick of raising a family, running a business, keeping everything moving, there isn’t always space to ask: but what do I actually want? What lights me up?
If that resonates, you are not alone. Not remotely. And the fact that you don’t know your passion yet doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It just means you haven’t had enough quiet to hear it.
The mistake many people make is looking for some grand, singular life mission — a capital-P Purpose that defines everything. But purpose doesn’t actually work that way. Small, daily things that energise you are a far more honest and achievable place to start.
How to start finding yours
One useful starting point is noticing what you don’t enjoy. It’s often easier to say where your passion isn’t. But — and this is important — we need to move from that negative observation into a positive reframe as quickly as we can, because staying in “I hate this” doesn’t help us grow. It just keeps us stuck.
For example: “I hate doing admin” isn’t particularly useful on its own. But if you sit with it, you might find the reframe is: “I love talking to clients and helping people solve problems” — and suddenly that tells you something real. Or perhaps “I hate cleaning” becomes “I love finding a home for everything, because when things are organised, life just flows better.” That’s not the same thing at all. That second version has energy in it.
Here are some gentle starting points if you’re not sure where to begin:
1. Notice what you lose time in
What do you find yourself doing when you look up and realise an hour has passed without noticing? That absorption — that flow state — is often a signpost. It might be something you’d never think to call a passion because it feels too easy or too ordinary. Pay attention to it anyway.
2. Think back to before life got loud
What did you love doing as a child, a teenager, or in your early twenties — before you had to be practical? Before you had responsibilities? Those early loves don’t disappear, they just get buried. They’re often still there if you look. You may have loved cooking before it became a nightly/weekly drain to decide what to cook for everyone…and that’s without the menu variations because everyone has their own likes and dislikes you end up catering for!
3. Reframe the negatives
Make a list of what drains you. Then, for each one, ask: what’s the positive version of this? What would I rather be doing instead, and what does that tell me about what I value? Keep pushing until you find the version with energy in it.
4. Pay attention to what you talk about freely
When do you find yourself speaking without thinking, enthusiastically, without needing to prepare? What topics make you light up in conversation? The things you’ll happily talk about for hours, unprompted, are usually telling you something.
5. Give yourself permission to not have it figured out yet
You don’t need to have a passion project launched or a life pivot planned. You just need to start creating a little more space — for being rather than doing — and see what surfaces. Journalling, a slow morning walk, sitting with a cup of tea without your phone. These aren’t indulgences. They’re how you start to hear yourself again.
6. Start small and see what sticks
You don’t leap before you can see the landing. Small steps towards your passion are how it begins — and sometimes, after enough small steps, you find yourself ready for the bigger leap. That was exactly my experience. Years of quiet knowing, then one very clear decision in October, and out by Christmas. Just to be clear when I made that big leap I didn’t know what the outcome looked like after the leap really – I just had to trust it was right and make space in my life for the change. I knew where some of my passion way but not the who picture. We have to trust before we know but more on that another time as it is bloody hard at first. It gets easier, I promise.
The ‘you have to have passion’ card still sits there
I could move it now. Love Life More is real. I’m living it. But I won’t move it, because it means something to me now that it didn’t when it first appeared. It’s a reminder of where I was, what I chose, and what’s possible when you stop waiting for the perfect moment and start moving towards the thing that genuinely lights you up.
You have to have passion. Carlo was right.
What’s your version of the bathroom card? Is there something quietly nudging you that you haven’t quite listened to yet? I’d love to hear in the comments.
Remember, loving life more isn’t about perfection or having all the answers. It’s about remaining open to growth and finding joy in the journey, wherever it leads you.
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“You have to have passion.”
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