I was raising my own eyebrows even as I wrote it – school is only six hours, you know! At this rate, I thought, I’ll have worked through the entire alphabet of unrealistic expectations and still won’t have got anywhere.

Well, September came and went. October flew past. And here we are, and guess what? I haven’t achieved everything on that list. Not even close.

But instead of beating myself up about it, I’m going to do something different. I’m going to celebrate what I actually have done, acknowledge the emotional journey I’ve been on, and be honest about the reality of major life transitions.

What Actually Happened – The Wins

Let’s start with what I did achieve, because there’s more here than I initially gave myself credit for.

I’ve been swimming more and doing significantly more exercise. In the first few weeks of school, I doubled my step count on weekdays. I started averaging 11,500 steps. Funny thing though – that first week I wondered why I was absolutely knackered by Thursday, getting worse for Friday and Saturday. Then I looked at the data and realised it was literally double my usual steps, consistently across four days.

My 14-week average has gone from 5,765 to 8,638 steps, which is fab. Bearing in mind I’ve had plenty of lazy weekend days in there to bring the average down. I’ve dropped quite a few pounds too.

I’ve been getting much longer dog walks in now the big beast is older. He’s a German Shepherd cross Rottweiler, so at this point he’s out walking me rather than the other way around!

I’ve been building my travel business. Not at the pace I’d imagined, but consistently and meaningfully.

Horse riding? Definitely over ambitious, as was a lot of the rest of it. But you know what? That’s okay.

The Reality Check We Don’t Talk About Enough

Here’s what I didn’t fully appreciate when I made that ambitious September list, unrealistic expectations vs reality. I was about to navigate two emotionally heavy life events, fairly close together.

I was talking to a friend during the summer holidays and admitted I was dreading my youngest starting school. We really weren’t sure he was ready – he’d only been four for six weeks when he was due to start. We’d seriously considered delaying his start.

My dad was also going to be going into a care home at the start of November. Whilst I’d decided not to cram my diary in September with work and not foreplan it all to be back-to-back – because I wanted to give myself time to feel the feels and sit with any emotion around my son going to school – I hadn’t appreciated until I spoke to my friend how emotionally heavy those two events would be.

Sometimes it takes someone outside your own head to help you see what you’re actually carrying.

The Beautiful Moments Between the Hard Ones

I did spend more time with my dad before he went into care, which was lovely. Sometimes covering for his carer whilst she went out, or just popping by for a cuppa after the hairdressers or whilst running errands.

One day I popped in with a cone of chips to share. He loved them, even though he’d had lunch and wasn’t hungry. It’s impossible to turn down hot salt and vinegar covered chips, isn’t it! Especially in a cone – don’t ask me why it makes a difference. Possibly the reminiscing it causes for us all.

Those little moments matter more than any item on a to-do list.

The Messy Middle…Unrealistic Expectations vs Reality

The house tidying progress? Yeah, that didn’t get very far. We did have a room swap to do because of the extension, which was a much bigger job than anticipated. So much stuff and bits of toys in one of the boys’ rooms. We essentially had to clear two of the boys’ rooms fully to put them into one room.

The silver lining? It means we’ve only kept what we want to keep going forward, which is good. But it certainly wasn’t the smooth “keeping on top of the newly tidy house” I’d envisioned.

How Easy It Is to Go Off Track

October half term felt like it threw a spanner in the works and took my healthy spell off track. I ate far more chocolate than I meant to. It was supposed to be just medicine for the first two days of my period, and it lasted at least two weeks.

It is so easy to go off track, and it can take quite some time to bring yourself back, I’ve found. This is the reality of loving life more – it’s not a perfect upward trajectory. It’s a practice, with good days and bad days.

The Identity Shift Nobody Warned Me About

What’s been harder than I expected is the identity shift happening alongside everything else. I’m still working through leaving my manufacturing days behind me. That was who I was for so long – the practical, business-focused person who could solve operational problems and manage teams.

And then there’s not being needed as mum in the same way once school starts. All change, change, change. Whilst I’m doing well and really started to look forward to the changes in my life once I knew my youngest had settled into school, I certainly got drawn back into negative mindset at times.

Which, as an eternal optimist, was a lot to manage in itself.

The Realisation That Changed Everything

I’ve realised recently that I need to start practising Love Life More myself to love life more.

This work – this blog, this message, this journey – is where my future lies. It feels emotional but elating to acknowledge that. All those years in manufacturing, all that business expertise, it wasn’t wasted. It’s brought me here, to this place where I can share the messy, real, imperfect journey of actually trying to love life more.

Not the Instagram-perfect version. The real version, where you set unrealistic expectations, achieve some things, miss others, get derailed by chocolate, cry about your dad going into care, celebrate your child settling into school, and somehow keep moving forward anyway.

What I’m Learning About Unrealistic Expectations vs Reality

Here’s what September and October have taught me:

Progress isn’t linear. My step count went up dramatically, then October half term happened. That’s life. The overall trend is still positive.

Celebrate what you did do. I could beat myself up about not starting horse riding or keeping the house perfectly tidy. Or I could celebrate doubling my step count, spending quality time with my dad, supporting my son through starting school, and building my travel business.

Being kind to yourself isn’t optional. My friend helped me see I was carrying a lot. Sometimes we need someone outside our own heads to remind us to be gentle with ourselves.

Going off track is part of the practice. The two weeks of chocolate “medicine” that was only meant to be two days? That’s human. Getting back on track is what matters, not never falling off in the first place.

Emotional weight is invisible but real. Two major life transitions happening close together is a lot, even if they’re both ultimately positive changes. Studies show that life transitions alter our trajectories and require significant psychological adaptation Psychology Fanatic, often involving a sense of loss even when the changes are chosen.

The Real Work of Loving Life More

I want this blog to be real. I want to show that Love Life More is certainly a practice, not a destination. You have good days and bad days. You set unrealistic expectations and then adjust them. You make progress in some areas whilst other areas slide.

Coupled with mindset wobbles along the way – even for eternal optimists like me – it’s all part of the journey.

Because that’s what loving life more actually looks like. Not perfect execution of an ambitious list, but genuine progress, real emotions, beautiful moments with your dad over a cone of chips, celebrating a longer dog walk, and being honest when the chocolate medicine lasts longer than intended.

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What unrealistic expectations have you set for yourself recently? What have you actually achieved that deserves celebrating, even if it wasn’t on your original list? I’d love to hear your own stories of expectations versus reality in the comments below.

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