Hi, I’m Ruth, and I’m going to be honest with you — I am not who you’d expect to be writing a travel series, and definitely not what I ever expected myself to be doing. But saying yes is a muscle I’ve been practicing. Let me tell you more.
I’ve not been on many holidays. I’m not a nomad. I’m not a young backpacker. Before last year I had hardly ever left Europe. I’m old-school, traditional, UK lifestyle — school, college, family, job, building up, cracking on. I’ve always loved my life. I genuinely have. I worked in community events for a local council and I loved it. Probably because I love being around people, being part of something, creating happy spaces for my family and our community. I don’t chase money or thrills — that’s just not me. Saying yes to unexpected things wasn’t how I did life.
So how on earth did I end up spending over a year slowly travelling through South America?
It started with a sparkly dress.
50 New Things at 50
When I turned 50, I wasn’t looking for something more. I want to be clear about that, because I think it’s important. It wasn’t that I was unhappy, or searching, or feeling like something was missing. I just wanted to experience more — to push myself to try things I’d been quietly sidestepping my whole life, because everything up until that point had basically followed the normal path, the normal patterns, the normal routines and the normal contentment.
So I set myself a challenge: 50 new things in my 50th year.
Some of them were tiny. January brought a guided tour of Oxford — which is literally down the road from us — it was only a tenner and one of the best mornings I’d had in ages. February saw me wearing a gold sparkly sequin dress to my own 50th birthday party and making sure I was the centre of attention in that room. That was genuinely terrifying for me. Really. For other people that’s just a regular party outfit, but I was like, oh my goodness me, no. And, I did it anyway. And I absolutely loved it.
That’s kind of the whole point. What’s huge for one person is nothing for another, and vice versa. The challenge wasn’t about the size of the thing. It was about saying yes to the things that made me want to say no.
Saying Yes – The Moment Everything Shifted
In March of that year, a local hospice charity I’d worked with years ago got in touch. They were bringing back a fundraiser — a Strictly-style dance competition called Strictly Florence — and would I like to take part?
My first reaction, honest to god, was: yes! That would be brilliant!
My second reaction, about half a second later, was: no hecking way.
A stage. A thousand people in the main auditorium of the impressive Waterside Theatre where actual stars perform. Me. Dancing. Ermmmm NO!
I don’t dance. I have two left feet and arms that go in every single direction apart from the correct one. Also, I can’t hold a piece of paper when I’m doing a presentation because it turns into a fan, I’m shaking so much. But it was my 50th year. I was doing 50 new things. And I thought — well, this one yes could tick off quite a few in one go! A first professional dance lesson, first time in sparkly shoes, first time on a huge stage in front of an audience, first time interacting with proper celebrities…
So I said yes. And then I quietly panicked (and practiced frantically) for three months.
Show Day
Fast forward through twelve weeks of training — one session a week with my professional dance partner Kyra (young, talented, elegant, tall, beautiful, and very courageous to teach my two left feet — bless her), and one group session a week with all twelve of us amateurs trying to perfect the group dance, which had been set by a choreographer who’d danced with Rihanna. There was me in that room. With my arms. My legs. My lack of coordination. It was a lot.
Show day arrives. Tony Hadley, Chris Hollins, David Anderson and Anita Dobson are up in the balcony. La Voix is hosting. I am flipping between completely terrified and on this enormous adrenaline high — holy moly, what am I about to do? Oh my god, this is incredible! — back and forth, this seesaw of emotions all day long.
The music starts, the lights switch from blackout to gold, the beat hits. And I feel this kind of fizziness that starts in the base of my feet and moves up through my body, and I think it’s nerves and tension and I’m bracing myself for the panic to kick in — but it’s not that at all. It’s complete and utter full body excitement, filling every single cell and oozing out of every pore. Pure positive adrenaline.
I mess up a section early on. Left instead of right, miss a shoulder move, total blank on the choreography. I swear — quietly, I think. Tony Hadley later confirms I did not do it quietly.
We finish. I literally cannot bring myself down. I’m bouncing, squealing, buzzing — I cannot wipe the smile off my face.
Feedback That Blew Me Away
The feedback from Tony Hadley: I could see you loved every single moment of it, your smile and energy made me smile. He even scored me a 9, along with Anita Dobson.
People came up to me afterwards — including the friend of another contestant — to say I had their vote, because they could feel my energy, that they could see how much I was loving it. This had never happened to me before in my life. I would never have called myself an energetic or fun person. I didn’t think I was funny, or the kind of person who lights up a room. And yet there it was.
I came away from that stage thinking: if I can do that, I can do anything I put my mind to. Anything. Because if I throw myself in completely, practice, and don’t worry about how I’m being perceived — I’m going to love it. I just know I am.
The Muscle for Saying Yes
Here’s what I’ve come to understand about saying yes to uncomfortable things: it’s a muscle. You can’t run a marathon from your sofa. You can’t lift the big weights on day one. So, you have to practice. You have to keep showing up for the small ones, and then the medium ones, and then — before you quite realise what’s happened — the big scary one doesn’t feel as impossible as it did.
I am scared of heights. I am scared of falling. AND I hate thrills. Yet, in June, I did the world’s fastest zip wire in Wales. Borderline panic attacks. Proper hyperventilation. Snot. Language I genuinely cannot repeat here — there is a video, it is very loud, and the language is very bad. I would never do a zip wire again. But I did it. I survived it. And the pride of having done it far outweighed the anxiety and fear.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you — watch the zip wire video here.
Then in August Ren, my partner, was made redundant and said — almost as a throwaway — “should we go travelling?”
I’d spent nine months practising that muscle. Nine months of saying yes to things that scared me. And his question landed differently than it would have done a year earlier.
My initial answer was still no, by the way. There was family, my youngest was still at home, there was my mum, there was work, how could we afford it. There were all the proper, sensible reasons why not.
But the “no” was softer than it used to be.
The Saying Yes Muscle Building Was Working
Then we started watching Race Across the World together — the South America series — and I found myself thinking: that looks really cool. Like, really cool.
And the “maybe” started.
Somewhere between August 25 and January 26 — roughly five months from that first conversation — it became a “yes” and reality.
Not because all the ducks lined up. Have you ever seen a row of ducks that actually walks in a straight line? All the ducks were never all going to line up. We just got to a point where we knew things would never be perfect, and made the courageous decision to go.
Why I’m Telling You This
I’m not writing this because I think you should go to South America. Maybe you should. Maybe that’s not your thing at all. Or maybe it is?
I’m writing it because I spent most of my life thinking that the big adventures — the brave choices, the left-turns off the expected path — were for a different type of person. Not for someone like me. And what I found, in my 50th year, is that there is no different type of person. There’s just the muscle. And you build it the same way everyone does — by doing the small scary thing first.
What’s your small scary thing this week?
I’m Ruth, and this is the beginning of the Slow Across South America series here on Love Life More — the story of how an ordinary person who didn’t fit any of the travel boxes spent over a year moving slowly through South America with no day-by-day itinerary, a rental income instead of savings, and more memorable moments with my partner than we could ever have planned for. You can follow along on my Facebook page here.
Next up: the actual how — the house, the rental, the finances, the family conversations, and the ducks that never quite stayed in a row.
Remember, loving life more isn’t about perfection or having all the answers. It’s about remaining open to growth and finding joy in the journey, wherever it leads you.
Enjoyed this? Subscribe to our newsletter for more from Love Life More — and more from Ruth as the South America series unfolds.
Have you done something that scared you and surprised yourself? Or is there something you keep saying no to that part of you knows you should say yes to? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
More from the Slow Across South America series
Check out our other recent blogs here — Blog – Love Life More